I’ve been struggling a bit. August was intense, and yet, suddenly, we are in September. Where does the time go? It’s frightening, actually. There is so much I want to achieve and move towards but I don’t seem to get anywhere. Part of the problem is me, of course, and I’m not saying the world has sped up only for me, and spiralled out of my control on fast forward. Except, I’m not in control. I feel like I am just blindly walking through and climbing over all of these obstacles but not making any progress. It’s like one of those video games you have to jump barrels so you don’t get hit, but actually, you’re on a treadmill and not moving forwards at all. I remember reading a quote once that likened this behaviour to a duck – that you look calm on the surface, but under the water you’re paddling like mad trying to keep afloat. Except, I’m not looking calm on the surface, either.
I’m not sure where this is going. I suppose I just popped in to say hello, that I think about you, my readers, and this little space on the internet every day. I can’t put the time into it right now, but I want to, and hope to, soon. There’s been a lot going on ‘IRL’. A quote (from Julie Chen, via Holly’s newsletter from ABranchofHolly) reminded me of this important thought today:
'You need to prioritise. If you can’t get to everything, or do everything, that’s okay.'
So, I’m prioritising right now. On my day job, on working overtime, on freelance bits and pieces and general life stuff; cooking, cleaning, keeping house. Trying to stay sane. Trying to look after myself. Trying trying trying.
See you soon, hopefully.