Saturday, 4 June 2011
You could be happy.
I am on a mission.
June will be a month where I am going to change who I am.
I'm fed up of being unconfident and sad. I don't like complaining but I seem to be doing it more and more. I am not happy with my body image, I keep gaining weight and I don't like it. I am becoming lazy and unproductive. I hate wasting my days away on the internet yet that is what is happening more and more.
I am unconfident, I am a worrier and I am unhappy.
But that's okay. I know where to change things now. I know I want to change. I need to change. I don't like being unhappy, that is not who I am, but I've felt it for a while now, too long. And I'm not going to ignore it anymore, I am actively seeking a beautiful life.
Last night I made a list of all the things I want to change. Then I made a list about how I am going to change them. There are easier ones, like eating healthier and organising my time better. Then there are the harder ones. The bigger ones. Some that I have struggled with for years and will take time to perfect. Confidence and nerves. I am going to keep on working with 'Becoming Confident' so hopefully I will be presented with more opportunities I can overcome and write more of these posts.
Then, the worrying. I HATE how much I worry. I hate even more the fact that I have a reputation for it. I worry so much about the silliest little things. I need to change this. I also need to start being able to make decisions. I am horrible at them, I absolutely hate on the spot choices, and even if they're not on the spot, I still hate making decisions! I'm pretty useless.
I really want to change who I am. It will be much better in the long run. For my career, for relationships, for my well being. So wish me luck on my journey. I am lost but I will find myself again. I will come back better and stronger than before. Things will change, for the better.