Saturday, 4 June 2011

You could be happy.



I am on a mission.
June will be a month where I am going to change who I am.
I'm fed up of being unconfident and sad. I don't like complaining but I seem to be doing it more and more. I am not happy with my body image, I keep gaining weight and I don't like it. I am becoming lazy and unproductive. I hate wasting my days away on the internet yet that is what is happening more and more.
I am unconfident, I am a worrier and I am unhappy.
But that's okay. I know where to change things now. I know I want to change. I need to change. I don't like being unhappy, that is not who I am, but I've felt it for a while now, too long. And I'm not going to ignore it anymore, I am actively seeking a beautiful life.
Last night I made a list of all the things I want to change. Then I made a list about how I am going to change them. There are easier ones, like eating healthier and organising my time better. Then there are the harder ones. The bigger ones. Some that I have struggled with for years and will take time to perfect. Confidence and nerves. I am going to keep on working with 'Becoming Confident' so hopefully I will be presented with more opportunities I can overcome and write more of these posts.
Then, the worrying. I HATE how much I worry. I hate even more the fact that I have a reputation for it. I worry so much about the silliest little things. I need to change this. I also need to start being able to make decisions. I am horrible at them, I absolutely hate on the spot choices, and even if they're not on the spot, I still hate making decisions! I'm pretty useless.
I really want to change who I am. It will be much better in the long run. For my career, for relationships, for my well being. So wish me luck on my journey. I am lost but I will find myself again. I will come back better and stronger than before. Things will change, for the better.

7 comments

  1. A very noble goal - I also struggle with the same issues/goals. Worrying about little things - it helps to take a minute and gain a little perspective. And remember, you are not useless!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I am also awful at making decisions! It should maybe be also set a goal for myself to start getting better at that!
    I'm unhappy that you're unhappy, but I'm proud of you for doing something about it :) xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  3. You sound like me. I struggle with worrying, too, and negativity. I am glad you are able to recognize something in yourself, acknowledge it and change it. Makes me want to reevaluate myself as well.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Be strong, you can make it. We can all make it if we try hard.. You're gonna be happy one day.
    :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Good luck lovely, it feels like such an impossible task right? I used some CBT type work sheets to help change my thinking around...I was sceptical when I was given them but oh man, they helped!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Totally identify with your post! I think I'll make June my month to sort myself out too! Thanks for the comment on my blog too. Beth xx

    ReplyDelete
  7. Just wanted to let you know your feelings are totally normal! And as you get older and have more experiences, and get to know yourself better you WILL feel much more at home with yourself! Everyone faces similar challenges, so you are certainly not along in your quest...in fact, you're very brave for turning to meet them so openly! Many people shy away from such missions, so go you!

    ReplyDelete