Monday, 30 September 2013
The truth of it all
Headlights beaming on my morning commute, the birds rushing overhead as usual. Gentle music humming from the radio. A day of casual chatting and non stop working, a lunch eaten whilst checking the days news. Fruit nibbled throughout the day to silence the rumblings in my belly, the tasty bite of an apple and the juicy, sweet taste of grapes. Numerous cups of tea to quench my thirst. Returning to a warm flat to a boyfriend waiting for me with a hug. We begin to cook dinner, the aroma of a warm and tasty red bolognaise wafting through the house. Chicken sizzling in the oven and the pasta bubbling away on top. The table is cleared, the cutlery laid as we sit down to eat. Gym clothes hung on the back of your chair from a workout yesterday. A relaxing evening of catching up with blogs and friends on social networks. A playlist of chilled out music blasts as the washing up awaits and then bedtime. A warm bed and a soft pillow, and then sleep.
And the reality of it all is true, but there is so much unseen. The morning commute in the rain and 50 minutes stuck in traffic; cars head to tail barely moving. A day at work, same as usual, staring at the computer screen with hardly any time to stop for lunch. I don't mention the cookies I devour, or the chocolate hidden in my drawers because sometimes healthy just doesn't cut it. The reality of coming home to a boyfriend who is there because life threw a curveball and sometimes people who really don't deserve it lose their jobs. And the stress of being the sole earner of the household now, and coming home from a long day at work to find the chores haven't been done and the food shop needs doing. That my red bolognaise came from a jar. That the chicken obviously isn't organic on our shoestring budget. That I got it from the freezer and cooked it whilst spilling red sauce all over the hob. The table is covered in last nights pizza boxes and plates, still not cleared away. We sit and watch tv as we eat our dinner, and after, the plates lay abandoned on the table with the others. The gym clothes need washing after a poor attempt at the 30 day shred that you managed to just about survive through endless gasps and pants. Then, an evening on mindlessly scrolling through facebook and twitter but not doing anything productive. Music blaring, but the washing up still ignored and the flat extremely messy. And then collapsing in to bed to do it all again tomorrow. Monotony.
I often read blogs and wonder about the perfect life that people portray. But I've come to the realisation recently that everyone has a shit time sometimes, but it's not only what you choose to portray and to show, but also how you see it that matters. To overlook the negatives and remember the good things. It's easy to read a post and be jealous of the easiness of their life, their perfect family and pristine house. But there is so much that you don't see, that they don't share, that because it's not written down it suddenly doesnt exist. You don't see the debt they are in, or the other rooms in the house where all the ephemera is now dumped so the space for the photos can look good. You don't see the stresses in their life that they choose not to share. And so, as that famous quote goes, we watch their highlight reel and forget about the behind the scenes. But that's ok. They choose to focus on the good and it's an escape route really. I don't share the ins and outs on my blog, not because I am hiding them but because who really cares if you had a bad commute and a sub par dinner? It's a very small percentage of life that is shown on the internet. Edits and cuts happen to spare you the boring details, but the reality is remembering that nobody has it easy. Nobody's life is full of butterflies and fresh flowers, pruned from their weedless garden. The grass needs cutting and there are slugs on the half eaten lettuces.